Bigamist Read online

  Virtual hearts floated abundantly across the screen, filling my real heart with the love of my fans and followers.

  Joan: I’m praying for you!

  Christopher: go drop that load LOL

  Jennifer: Your baby is

  going to be so cute!

  Chi Chi: I’m so happy for you! Be blessed.

  Delia: Prayers going up… love you, @BloggerQueen!

  Joni: We love you, Iris!

  I wobbled over to Erick with the live feed still going and slipped my arms into my coat and stepped into my Uggs.

  “Turn that damn thing off,” Erick’s words squeezed through tight lips.

  I sucked my teeth in his direction, painted on a smile, and handed the phone to Marigold as she held it up to my face.

  “Okay guys, hubby is ready to go but I’ll go live again after Darius arrives later today. Thanks for all your prayers—love you all!”

  Hearts and thumbs-up icons pranced across the screen just as a solid contraction hit me. I signaled for Marigold to sign off, ending the live feed, and grabbed my swollen belly.

  “Okay, we’d better go.”

  “That’s what I’ve been saying.” Erick held the door open and waited on us to step towards him. “Mari, please see to it that she does not get back on that device later.”

  Marigold nodded but she knew who signed her checks.

  I realized that Erick was not about the social media life, so I didn’t waste energy arguing with him. If I didn’t show my face later, my followers would worry that something had gone wrong with the baby or me. And I couldn’t have that.

  The last time I neglected to keep them posted on my well-being, all kind of rumors and lies were spread and those lies resulted in me having an online war with some low-life woman who posted that I had lost my biggest endorsement and was homeless because I had been sued by the cosmetic company. Instead of ignoring her, I engaged, and then started a back and forth, letting her know I had a successful and loving husband who was a doctor and being homeless was the last thing I was overly concerned about.

  My tweet was shared tens of thousands of times and it was even made into a meme and a GIF with my picture, captioned: “Bitch, you don’t know me” with an image of me scowling from an older post where I was trying sushi for the first time. It’s one of Black Twitter’s favorites to use in any given situation. In any event, I got her told and shut her up.

  I wasn’t interested in the effort it took to come back from ghosting my followers and wasn’t interested in arguing with Erick. So, I let him think my silence was compliance. I didn’t have the energy to deal with him as well as the contractions.

  “Erick, call me once you guys get settled in, okay?” my mother’s groggy voice came from down the hall before she appeared in her robe. Instead of tying the belt, she held it closed within her clinched fist. She hugged me, kissed my cheek, mumbled an intense and quick prayer, finally saying, “Amen… take care, sweetheart.”

  “Amen.” I kissed her back as I felt the contraction subside. “Thanks, Mom. We’ll call you soon.”

  I wobbled to the passenger side of the truck waiting in our circle drive and climbed in. Erick closed my door, made his way to the driver’s side, and drove us to Ennis Regional Medical Center.

  It was going on noon when Erick stood over me holding our little bundle of joy all swaddled in blue. I watched him kiss Darius’ small head just before placing him back in the basinet.

  “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” He turned back to me.

  “Pain medication is making things bearable.” I shifted in bed slightly. “Is he asleep?”

  “Snoring, actually.”

  “We know who he got that from, don’t we?”

  Erick sat on the edge of the bed, leaned forward, and kissed my lips. “I have a couple of patients here I’m going to check in on the next building and I have a surgery scheduled this afternoon.”

  “Today? Can’t you postpone it?”

  “I would if I could, but this patient can’t wait.”

  I was tempted to pout but I knew the deal. Having the baby today was unexpected so I couldn’t really blame him for having to do what he would be doing anyway.

  “Don’t look like that, sweetie.” With the tip of his finger he touched my bottom lip, which was obviously poked out.

  “I know. Put on your Super Doctor cape and go save the world. It doesn’t mean I have to like it.” I exhaled and tried to smile.

  “So, doctors wear capes now?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I spoke to your mother and she’ll be here this afternoon with Jersey. Okay?”

  “Marigold is on her way back, too.” Erick was cool with Marigold, but he knew that her coming back to the hospital meant we’d be working in some capacity.

  “Can’t you take time off?” he had the nerve to ask me that.

  “She’s coming so I can take time off.”

  He stood, touched my hand, and said, “I’ll be back late, once I’m out of surgery, but I’ll let the staff know where I’ll be if you need me.”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too, sweetheart.” He glanced over at Darius. “We make beautiful babies,” he said just before he opened the door.

  6

  Amy

  …but it was moments like this…

  Sunlight slipped between the seams of the shades covering the bedroom windows. My head felt as if it weighed a thousand tons and I hoped, as it rested in the crook of his shoulder, it didn’t feel that way to him. The position of the light coming through from outside told me it was early, but I wanted to know exactly what time it was. It took all my strength to change positions and lift myself so I could see for sure.

  I made it onto one elbow, slowly turning my head to face the clock on the dresser. Shit. It was going on noon and I had planned to be up and out hours ago.

  “Are you okay?”

  I was trying not to wake him, but I guess it didn’t matter.

  “Yeah, a little hung over but I’m fine.” I sat up in the bed, swinging my feet over the edge. “I had no idea it was this late,” I said through a yawn.

  “You need to be somewhere?”

  “Don’t you?”

  “No.” His hand grazed my bare back. “I was hoping we could have lunch.”

  I loved my husband, but it was moments like this, not that there’d been so many, that kept me confused. What was I doing? And why was I here? Ricky loved me, I knew that, but what I also knew was I couldn’t trust his ass. The way he disappeared for weeks at a time was no longer tolerable. Even though I could always reach him, and he seemed to always be where he said he was, made for a complicated marriage. There was a time when I was totally okay with it, but being older, I need more. I needed companionship every day.

  When we were a young couple, I was less needy. I had the kids, my sorority, volunteer work—I had plenty to do. I didn’t feel alone or lonely—besides, I knew what I had signed up for. I was fine with it for many years and it worked for us. Things slowly seemed to change. I wanted us to finally settle in. I needed him home more days than he was gone. Yes, we did what was necessary and attended important events together, but I wanted to simply go to the grocery store with my husband sometimes. I wanted us to work in the yard together—rearrange the closets together. Was it all too much to ask? Yeah, it was sweet the way he offered to go to the doctor with me that day but hell, I’d been so used to doing things like that on my own for so long, it actually felt awkward when he wanted to tag along.

  I desired having someone around every day. I never thought I would say that, but there I was saying it. Maybe it was the long-awaited night of passion he and I shared that was now making me long for more—or long for what I thought should’ve been throughout the years of other women and disappearing acts. I wasn’t sure.

  I had been waiting on the day he would retire and we’d keep each other company over meals at the kitchen table, and then he would dry the dishes af
ter I washed them. I didn’t need that before because I knew the time was coming. Well, I’m ready to start preparing for that time for us to finally have a life together. And if we were not going to have a life together, I wanted to have that life with somebody. The experience of rocking chairs, Medicare, and dentures with someone who has loved and known you for years was what I expected. It was what I believed most people wanted, even if they didn’t admit it.

  “Not this time.” I stepped into my panties, and then secured my bra. My new body gave me the confidence to stand in his view while I dressed.

  “I had a great time last night,” he said.

  “So did I.”

  “It doesn’t have to end now.” He sat up.

  “Yes, it does.” I stepped over to the chair where my clothes had been neatly placed the night before.

  “At least have coffee.”

  “Can I take it to go and start on my walk of shame?”

  Coach Wagner’s chocolate frame stood from the bed with every one of his muscles rippling in his back. He found his boxer briefs on the floor, and then came to stand in front of me. “No shame here,” he said as he stepped into his underwear. “I’m just glad you finally kept a date with me.”

  The night before started out with the two of us having dinner, sharing a bottle of wine at the restaurant, and then dessert and another bottle once we got to his house. Despite the fact that I couldn’t get Ricky off my mind, Coach and I enjoyed the evening, laughing, talking, and even slow dancing in front of his fireplace. It was nice. It was nice enough to make me want to stay the night.

  Spending the night was not something I had planned but I enjoyed myself. And once my clothes were off, I didn’t even think about leaving. The wine I’d consumed all evening removed the guilt I would’ve normally felt. My husband was on my mind, but I reminded myself that he wasn’t home—so why should I be?

  “I know… sorry.” I exhaled, ran my fingers through my hair, and turned my head, searching the floors.

  “They’re at the back door, remember?”

  “What?”

  “Your shoes.”

  “Oh—right.” I started towards the door. “I guess I better get going.”

  “Dinner tonight?” He stepped into his slacks from the night before and followed me out of the room.

  “Sorry, Coach.”

  “Amy, when are you going to start calling me David?”

  An uncomfortable laugh came from my throat just before I turned to face him. “It’s a habit, that’s all.”

  “Now that we’ve seen each other naked, that habit needs to be broken.”

  “Agreed.”

  We made our way down the stairs, through the kitchen, and to the back door, leading to his garage. The roar of the garage door opening filled the silence, making it easy for me to keep moving.

  Coach opened my car door, pulled me in closely, and planted a long kiss on my mouth. I wasn’t sure of the surroundings outside because it was dark when we’d arrived the night before so that was the only thing on my mind. I broke away from the kiss and immediately looked out and around.

  There was an alley and a field lush with bushes and trees, so I exhaled. Next to my silver Mercedes inside his garage was his black Audi and the night before was slowly coming back to me.

  “Thanks again for a great time last night.” I tossed my purse on the passenger seat.

  “You sound like we won’t be seeing each other again.”

  “What do you mean?” I got in my car, leaving the door open.

  “Something in your voice.” He stepped back and held onto the handle. “I haven’t forgotten your situation so, no pressure.”

  “We’ll see each other again,” I assured him.

  With one hand he touched his bare chest and with the other he closed my car door and stood back. There was a slight smile on his lips as he headed back inside.

  I started my car, put it in reverse, and slowly backed out—not really happy to be headed home but certainly feeling a sense of relief.

  I hit the Bluetooth on the dashboard and dialed my voicemail. The first two messages were from Kiley asking me to call her back. Those were the “I need money” messages that I’d learned to identify. The third message was the dry cleaner explaining they still couldn’t get a stain out of a dress I’d sent back. The last one was from a woman with a familiar name that I couldn’t place:

  Hello Amy, this is Rose McDaniel—Dr. Rose McDaniel. I’m sorry to contact you like this as it’s been years since we’ve met. If you could call me back when you have a free moment, I would certainly appreciate it. Thank you so much.”

  I wasn’t sure if the voice was familiar, but the name certainly was. I was, however, sure it was someone I knew through Ricky. But I couldn’t imagine why she would be calling or why she wouldn’t simply say what she wanted in the message.

  7

  Rose

  …my soft place to land.

  Women aren’t stupid, in general. They are gifted with intuition and their brains were wired to multi-task in amazing ways. And when it comes to wisdom, a woman is equal to any man. A woman’s downfall is she craved love in a way that made her do stupid shit. She will overlook things and second-guess her God-given ability to see through the crap others did. Yeah, loving a man can have a woman all fucked up.

  Not thinking things through, I made the call. I didn’t know what I was going to say so it was a good thing she hadn’t answered. In fact, I preferred leaving the message. I wasn’t usually impulsive but the urge to hear Amy reveal the mysteries of the man I loved, and the man she used to love, was strong in a way I couldn’t ignore; at least in that moment.

  I didn’t regret making the call, but I was glad to be granted some time to think. And, I needed it. The thoughts that were running through my head were making me panic. And I wasn’t a person who panicked. But I was a person who liked to be prepared. Not that anyone liked to be surprised with bad news, but I utterly hated it. So, to be prepared, I practiced what I was going to say when Amy called back. Hopefully, after some basic pleasantries, I’d jump right in and ask her: “How long have you and Rick been divorced?”

  Amy would give me her answer and I’d explain why I asked in the first place. We’d laugh through it, exchange more pleasantries, and everything would be cool. It had been obvious for years that she’d moved on, so to speak. There didn’t seem to be any animosity on her side and there certainly wasn’t any on mine. Aside from Rick paying some of her bills, she hadn’t bothered us at all. Not even when it came to the kids, which would’ve been totally understandable.

  Rick’s kids. I’d been around them a few times, but he mostly went to see them. I never liked that he kept them separate but I was never really a kid person and was certainly not in love with the idea of trying to win over moody teenagers. I had once told Kory and Kiley they were welcome to come over for visits whenever they wanted but they just stared at me, not expressing one way or the other on how they felt about the invitation to our home. It was cool. Work was my life, so I was happy to be absolved of that burden. I didn’t want children of my own, so I could live with or without his.

  As I played out the phone scenarios of Amy and I, I stood in the kitchen with a skillet handle in one hand and a spatula in the other. Eggs, resting in alternative butter, sizzled and fried. Two butter-loving cardiologists wouldn’t dare consume real butter in front of each other. We waited to eat it behind each other’s backs.

  Rick sipped coffee at the breakfast bar and scrolled through his iPad, checking email. I hadn’t told him about the call I’d made the day before but wondered what his reaction would be if I had. Surely he wouldn’t care but I kept my mouth closed, waiting to see what I was dealing with first. My intuition was seldom wrong, but this time I was praying it was.

  “Just the way you like ’em.” I slid purple stone-ware, holding two eggs over easy, turkey bacon, and a toasted whole wheat English muffin in front of him—everything hot and to his liking.

/>   The color changed in Rick’s complexion and he quickly closed the screen on his device.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  “Thank you, sweetheart.” He searched the table. “Butter? Or, whatever that stuff is. And a little jam.”

  “It’s already on there—except the jam. Here you go.” I slid a half empty jar of Smucker’s onto the counter. “More coffee?”

  Ricky simply held out his cup.

  With our schedules being so crazy, these mornings rarely happened, and I loved it when they did. The doors to the patio were open so the new day’s air coursed through this part of the house. It was quiet with the exception of a distant car making its way down the street several blocks away. I could even hear birds chirping.

  “You want to sit out here and eat?” I stood on the threshold, holding my cup of hot tea. I rarely ate breakfast, or at least not anything deserving of a plate. A granola bar, a piece of fruit, a sweet pastry is what I ate, if anything at all. I found more satis-faction in eating lunch. Breakfast was his thing.

  “Ben had the revised contract sent over by messenger this morning,” he announced. “It’s sitting on the dining room table—I’ve already signed.”

  The two of us had been working on a device for three years and finally got the patent done and was about to sell it to Johnson & Johnson Medical Devices and Company. I wanted to segue into something and work-related items were a good fallback, so I was thankful he’d changed the subject. We could talk cardio and cutting people open all day without ever becoming bored.

  “Okay, I’ll sign it now.” I continued from the dining room, “Did you ever take a look at the information I sent you on that device? We saw it at that conference in Phoenix. Remember?” I flipped through the pages and signed next to each one of Rick’s signatures.

  “No, which device?”